However, I am always amazed by people's creativity. Here are our stories from this week's TABLEtalk ... it's a shame that I can't portray here the actual delivery of these stories which added sooooo much to the entertainment value, most especially Michel's acting and sound-effects skills :-)
One day, Lynne was walking home, carefully looking around her. Her worst fear? Birds! All of a sudden she felt something land on her head. She screamed and shook her head; panicking she started running through the streets. Suddenly she heard a voice, "Stop running, stop running." Shocked, she did, infact, stop running. She looked around for the source of the voice. "Up here," replied the voice,"Why were you running? Hi, pretty girl. I'm Arshad." Realising that the source of the voice was a bird, she screamed again! "Go away! Go away!" "Will you stop screaming already! Jeez you're giving me a headache! Birds don't even get headaches."
Finally calming down, deciding this was all just a very weird dream, she began to ask the bird questions. "Why are you on my head? Why won't you leave?" "Well, why not, and why should I leave?" "Because you're scary!"
"No, I'm not. Now, let's go home, people are staring."
This was the beginning of a long a beautiful friendship, Arshad never leaving Lynne's side. One day, 20 years later, Lynne woke up thinking something was wrong. Where was Arshad? She looked out of the window to see Arshad flying away, and heard his last words, "Bye, love." She smiled and waved, at the same time muttering, "&*$%*^!"
Mr Flower was very good at his job, so his boss gave him money and a promotion. Mr Flower had a dream, to have a brilliant golden smile. So, he thought of a brilliant idea, to get golden teeth. He decided to visit his famously stupid cousin who was the village doctor. 
From his stupid reputation the stupid cousin came up with a stupid idea ... to remove his cousin's teeth with a giant file and a giant stone. The doctor (stupid) hit the teeth once ... nothing! He hit twice ... a little pain. So, with all his might he hit a third time and Mr Flower's head was split in two!! The nurse was shocked to see the split head. She shouts, and as she opens her mouth the stone came flying at her and split her head in two.
The doctor came up with another brilliant idea, to save him from going to jail, he would cut up the bodies with the file and feed his hungry pet rats.
But Mr Flower woke up and realised that golden teeth was not a good idea; instead he would buy three flats around the world, travel and live happily ever after.
Blue-Luna is an Emperor of Ascad planet. He is 307 years old and has a rich life with all the comforts that an emperor expects. He didn't know that his biggest enemy was his own brother. On his birthday his brother wanted to fight with him in order to take his place. Blue-Luna eventually lost this fight. His brother was a wizard so he turned Blue-Luna in to a baby and throw him so hard that he reached earth, in order to ensure that he would never return to Planet Ascad.
When Blue-Luna landed in a park (on earth) some people took pity on him. They thought that he was so cute, they decided to adopt him. They brought him to their house and the new parents wanted to take a picture of him because it was their first day together. His face, in this picture looks like he thinks, "Idiots! I'm not a baby!" but unfortunately he was not able to express this because he was, infact, a baby.
In the end, as he grew up he felt grateful that they had saved his life and he decided to stay on earth and live peacefully.
The Naughty Superheroes (based on a true story)
Once upon a time, in a very dark place, in the middle of a creepy forest, on an island in the middle of the ocean, there was an abandoned place called Gillingham.
The brain-sucking vampires (also known as lecturers) have taken over all the power. They banned happiness, covered the sun and put exams just after Christmas. The vampires closed everything during Christmas - the library and the homes of the majority of the population of Gillingham were closed as well. To make things worse on Christmas Eve, the vampires with abandoned students have gathered in an old hall, where the Witch, also known as 'butterfly lady' with her magical speech had put all the people in to a deep depression. Emergency help was needed!
In a land far, far away four Superheroes were enjoying deep-fried Mars bars, just like every day. Then they heard the cry of demented people living far away. They quickly swallowed their Mars bars and took their flashy superfast cars - aka 'rhinos' - and immediately appeared in the abandoned land.
They were touched by the sorrow and cry of the people, and have taken action straight away. The Joker, the Vampires and the Witch Union, together decided to punish the Superheroes for their attempt to bring back happiness. They have taken away the cars of the Superheroes to be used for their destructive experiments. Knowing that their energy source was deep-fried Mars bars they banned the sale of chocolate and cookies throughout the whole kingdom. To finish up their evil plot, the 'Union' dedicated a shame step, where the Superheroes were glued forever.
Mayor Sadiq Khan of London wanted to develop a new form of transport to help with the problem of pollution. So, he gathered together a group of young PhD students and challenged them to come up with something new and pollution free.
They decided on the use of Space Hoppers, but it was important to test these in the rain - because it's always raining in London. In order to be able to operate a Space Hopper people firstly had to complete a physical fitness test. For a full Blue license they need to do at least five push-ups. For an Orange Learner license they had to complete one push-up. A Pink License (not sure what that signifies) was obtained by standing on one leg for the count of ten.
Very suddenly a swarm of African hornets came and burst all the space hoppers ... so people had to start walking again.
The moral of this story is that PhD is useless!
PLEASE NOTE that the thoughts and ideas
expressed in these stories does not
reflect the opinions of the author of this blog!!
No comments:
Post a Comment