Communication Breakdown

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN was our theme at TABLEtalk last Thursday. Although student numbers were down slightly (because of end of term assignments) we still had some good discussion time.
For what it's worth, here are Lynne's Top Ten Tips for Good Communication:

1.  STOP TALKING & LISTEN
* Understand the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is simply about perceiving sound; whereas listening is more about an active giving attention to what's bring said.
* Hearing is a natural, physical ability; true listening is an art, a gift.
* Mark Twain said, "If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two mouths and one ear."
* Don't interrupt, don't finish people's sentences for them; don't assume you know what someone is about to say.
* True listening cannot happen if you are already formulating your response before the other person has finished speaking.

2.  CONSIDER TIMING & REMOVE DISTRACTIONS
* If now isn't a good time, be honest and make a more suitable time when you can give someone your full attention.
* Put other distractions aside and avoid unnecessary distractions.
* Don't doodle or shuffle papers.
* Don't let technology distract you.

3.  VALUE OTHERS & OFFER RESPECT
* Use people's names.
* Respect the individual and value what is being said.
* Don't judge or patronise people.
* Learn to see things from other people's perspective. The fact that you do not hold the same opinion as someone else does NOT invalidate the opinions and feelings of others.
* Let go of preconceived ideas about the individual or the situation.
* Offer others the same level of respect that you yourself would want.
* Know that it's possible to stand firm in your own views without de-valuing the other person.

4.  REFLECT & CLARIFY
* Never assume that you have heard and understood someone correctly.
* Learn to reflect back to people what you have heard them say. Use questions to clarify understanding; or re-phrase what someone has said in order to ensure understanding.
* Learn the art of open-ended questions.
* If needed take notes, don't rely on your memory; however, be sure to value confidentiality.
* Giving and receiving feedback is an important part of communication skills.

5. BE PATIENT, EMPATHISE & ENCOURAGE
* Allow people to speak freely.
* Give people time to think.
* Don't be afraid of pauses.
* THINK before you speak ... is what you are saying True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary and Kind.

6.  REMAIN OPEN-MINDED
* Avoid personal prejudices; be aware of your own unconscious biases.
* Don't let a person's habits or mannerisms distract from what is being said.
* Remain open to listening and trying to understand another person's viewpoint.

7.  BEWARE NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION ... both yours and theirs
* Body language, eye contact, hand gestures all colour the message being spoken.
* Learn to feedback not only what you're hearing with your ears, but what you're seeing with your eyes. Occasionally, the non-verbal can communicate more than what is being spoken.
* Be aware of your own mannerisms and body language; ask trustworthy people to give you honest feedback.
* Maintain appropriate eye contact.
* Does the tone of voice match the words being spoken.

8.  BE CLEAR & CONFIDENT
* Avoid jargon and over-complicated language
* Be aware of and pay attention to differences in culture, religion, gender, age, experience, ability. etc.
* The more to tend to ramble the quicker others will zone out.
* Confidence does not equal arrogance!

9.  WHAT NEXT?
* Review the next steps or appropriate action points.
* Always follow through!
* Give people options where appropriate.
* Clarify expectations, deadlines, etc.

10.  LEARN THE ART OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION
* Avoid accusatory language, such words as 'always' and 'never'.
* Don't let conflicts fester; ignoring them will not make them go away.
* Sometimes compromise is better than conflict.